Will all you chronic WTFers kindly STFU? Kthxbai

Seriously, it can get tiresome, and at times downright annoying, when every second or third tweet has a WTF and/or an STFU in it. Tweeple should realize that such messages inject negative energy that vitiates the 'tweetosphere', for want of a better word. And this is equally applicable outside the tweetosphere as well, in the real world. Which is why nobody enjoys the company of curmudgeons.

There's a whole bunch of good stuff going on out there too, in this great wide beautiful wonderful world. Those who don't see or can't see or won't see it, should just STFU. Vent your spleen somewhere private, please. I mean, WTF!

Posted via email from HyperActiveX's (Pre)Posterous Posts

Reconstructing the B.S., One Sacred Cow at a Time

I've been busy over the last day or two and so I missed all the on-line action on Shashi Tharoor's tweet and the aftermath (though I did catch an off-line glance at some headlines that gave me a general idea of what happened there). Being a Friday evening I thought I'd dig into all that B.S. a little and get to the root of it. Only to find that there is just too much silliness and stupidity in this world, and there's just no saying how many 'intelligent' people get trapped by it. And then there are the clever ones who try to get away with verbal prestidigitation.

It all started with a poor pun in a tweet by Shashi Tharoor about cattle class and holy cows, in the wake of announcements regarding austerity measures promulgated by Pranab Mukherjee, that advised MPs to travel by economy class. I don't follow Shashi Tharoor on twitter and I couldn't find the original tweet - guess he deleted it, but what I gathered this evening was that in response to a journalist's query on twitter, on whether he would be traveling "cattle class" on his next trip to Kerala, Shashi Tharoor had tweeted something like -

Of course! in cattle class out of solidarity with all our holy cows

Silly comment, that. Cattle / holy cow ... I didn't even find it funny, really (though I think my title for this post is hilarious - c'mon, admit it). I wouldn't make that comment if I were him. What was he thinking? That twitter is some exclusive club where nobody other than the cyberati elite get to know what one says? Silly comment, but also sarcastic in a very tongue-in-cheek way. Again, what was he thinking? That nobody in his audience (174,824 followers in Twitter at the time of writing this post) could get what he really meant?

Apparently someone found his seemingly opprobrious tweet (surprise! surprise!) and showed it to his bosses in the Congress Party, who promptly threw a fit. Ah the holier-than-thou Congress! Their outraged outcry was that this was a contemptible contumely. Why? Because it was egregious to economy class passengers. Silly, again, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the smarter ones in the Congress got what he really meant. And I think that's what pissed them off and had them frothing at their collective mouth as they called it out as unacceptable, across the media.

More news coverage, more TV discussions, more interviews, more panels, more expert opinions, more silliness followed (and I think there'll be even more B.S. about this over the weekend). Several personalities - politicians and journalists alike, unabashedly exposed their abysmal ignorance on a whole bunch of topics, including, of course, twitter / blogging / social media.

Then came the apologies and clarifications about the 'misunderstanding' (and of course, deletion of the terrible tweet that triggered this avalanche of silliness). In a subsequent tweet, Shashi Tharoor admitted it was a silly expression (and I am reproducing here below the tweets that followed, just in case they magically disappear by the time you read this post and click on the links to the respective tweets).

it's a silly expression but means no disrespect to economy travellers, only to airlines for herding us in like cattle. Many have misunderstd

A feeble attempt at back-pedaling, I'd say. And again, this is different from tweeting, for example, something like "it was silly of me to have tweeted that". Anyway. This was followed by :

i now realize i shldnt assume people will appreciate humour. &u shouldn't give those who wld wilfully distort yr words an opportnty to do so

Oh? NOW he realized that. And also that there are 'those' humorless people out there, waiting and watching, who'd grab any opportunity to distort his words. Tsk Tsk. Politics I tell you! Full of such evil people. Wish we'd known this before.

And then there was this edifying tweet - a gem of a clarification, presumably in response to a tweet from someone else:

@dilnawazpasha holy cows are NOT individuals but sacrosanct issues or principles that no one dares challenge. Wish critics wld look it up

Aha! Is that right, Mr Tharoor? So you're dealing with people who don't know the language, huh? OK. Let's do some nit-picking then. First of all, the mot juste is "sacred cow", if you meant "sacrosanct issues or principles that no one dares challenge". Secondly, the expression "holy cow" (actually, "Holy Cow!") signifies something else, FYI. True, sometimes people use it in the same sense as "sacred cow", but YOU can't get away with that - you, who are so good with words. And lastly, the word "solidarity" is meant to be used with respect to individuals, yes, individuals, and not ideas or issues or principles. One doesn't do things out of solidarity with an issue or principle: one does things out of solidarity with individuals that one identifies with or supports, such as one's colleagues or team members. "Wish U wld look it up" back at ya - the whole lot: sacred cow, holy cow, solidarity. Oh but what am I saying .. you know this stuff ... you were just trying to find an escape hatch. Sorry, didn't mean to sound so patronizing about your command over the language.

So then, Mr Tharoor, when you said "... out of solidarity with all our holy cows" in your own subtle sarcastic polished and oh-so-classy tongue-in-cheek style, who, really, were you expressing your so-called "solidarity" with? Mr Pranab Mukherjee? Heh. No wonder your party colleagues are so pissed off with you - you were poking fun at their austerity drive! They got it too, but they wouldn't call it out. How could they? We don't slaughter sacred cows in this country. So here's a word (or two) of advice from a well-meaning fella: Careful who you have a beef with. Do not yield to the temptation to rib, delicious as it may appear, for someone or other will have a bone to pick with you, and you have a lot at stake.

Good luck and have a nice weekend!

Posted via email from HyperActiveX's (Pre)Posterous Posts

She moves in mysterious ways

A tweet from CNN that popped up in my twitter news account last night caught my eye. It said "Media shut out from Palin's Hong Kong speech". Curious, I clicked on the shortened URL which took me to the web page that had the story.

The more I read, the more I was intrigued. Sarah Palin is going to talk to investors? C'mon! Seriously? In China? You've gotta be kidding! I'd give a lot to watch that. But alas ... no media coverage of her speech. Why? Because she doesn't want to give the media access to her speech. And what is she going to talk about? Sorry, cannot be disclosed. So now, those who are not going to be in the room will never know what she said and how it was received. And all kinds of stories could be spun around that. How could anyone verify them? More mystery - nobody knows how much they're paying her for this, though it is speculated that it could well be in six figures. I guess she just loves getting involved in mysterious controversies like these. And getting paid for it!

If she's managing to create such an enigmatic aura around her, after palin' into insignificance (sorry, couldn't resist it), then imagine the kind of mystique she'd be wrapped up in after she wins the 2012 elections to become America's first woman President!

On a different note - I wonder if she is going to ask them if she could go Panda hunting over the weekend. They might even let her.

Posted via email from HyperActiveX's (Pre)Posterous Posts

Are You Being Served?

I don't mean to carp over trivial matters, but I've had two really lousy customer experiences in the last couple of days, with two global majors - Max New York Life Insurance and Vodafone. And in the last month or so, I struggled with a prolonged issue with HSBC that only recently got resolved (thanks to the committed and diligent follow-up by my highly competent Relationship Manager, who must have put up quite a fight, I'm sure, with his back-office processing set-up). Will spare you the gory details of each case - for you, it would be most uninteresting, and for me, I don't wish to relive the annoyance and frustration. When I shared some of this on twitter yesterday, I got a lot of empathetic tweets from others who've had similar experiences with the same or similar brands. So I know the problem is not me :)

Why can't big brands like these get their act together in terms of design and execution of smoother customer experiences? In each case, the issues were at a simple transactional level, nothing complex. Handling such issues is not rocket science any more, and there is so much learning out there on how to do this cheaper, faster and better. I do realize that handling 'outliers' is not easy - for each business, no matter how big or small, there's always the question of how far do you go to satisfy the customer. Seth Godin makes the point rather eloquently, as he usually does, in his recent blog post. In my case, I am not an outlier and I am not expecting customer delight - just basic transactional efficiency. Why is that such a hard promise to deliver on? And if it is, then why make such a promise? One would think competition would solve these problems, but sadly, it hasn't. I can't even say "Screw you, I'm taking my business to the next guy" simply because I know that the next guy is going to be equally bad, if not worse. And I know this from previous experiences. It is almost as though they all collude and decide to remain inefficient and apathetic to customer needs.

As is my wont, when in a more relaxed frame of mind, I look for the silver lining in all my bad experiences and ask myself what's in it for me. And this was my (re)learning this week: when it comes to customer interactions, learn the art of listening and never undermine the 'importance of being earnest'. Nothing fancy, just a simple truth that we need to remind ourselves about, each time we're facing our customers. They can walk away. When they have a better alternative, they will. We don't have to wait till then - we have the opportunity to become the better alternative!

Posted via email from HyperActiveX's (Pre)Posterous Posts